I find straight people to be tedious.
Well, it’s not just that I find them boring, (although I do), it’s that their standards are so much lower than mine.
My roommate just brought home a date to the house before taking her out to dinner. (This, of course, happened after we had the conversation that he, as a guy who can’t cook to save his life, should not attempt to cook her dinner.)
Now, our house is dirty. It’s gross. Our cleaning lady’s out of town and no one’s done anything to make the situation any better. It’s not like it’s I-think-something-may-have-died-under-that-pile-of-dishes-but-I-don’t-want-to-check-because-it’s-too-gross gross, but it’s definitely not I-feel-so-confident-bringing-this-hottie-back-to-my-apartment-I-know-I’ll-get-some-ass clean, either.
But the problem: He doesn’t even realize. He actually thought the apartment was clean. He actually thought that he could just make a basic salad and she’d be happy.
If I were bringing someone home, I’d make sure all the roommates were gone for the night, the floors were mopped and I brought my best pastry skills. I mean, if I’m gonna go for results, I’m gonna go for results.
I guess that’s why I don’t date straight guys.
Posted by inhistwenties 
